Case · 2026-07-15

The six-section essay that refuses to decide

It depends, said the model that was hired to decide.

Summary: Asked for a sharp take on a narrow product decision. Received balanced mush that could sell any product.

Claimed pattern case (not a single dated official incident). Composite field-guide example of a known failure mode. Not attributed to a specific public post.

What happened

Instead of a call, Claude returned multi-section prose: context, considerations, pros and cons, a soft “it depends,” and a recommendation that fits every roadmap.

Why it’s slop

• Template structure instead of judgment
• Length standing in for specificity
• Every stake mentioned, none ranked

How to spot it

• Symmetric hands, no pick
• Generic headers for a narrow ask
• Swap the nouns and the essay still works

What good looks like

• Recommendation in the first screen
• One main risk and one kill criterion
• Short and decisive is a feature

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