Case · 2026-07-15
The six-section essay that refuses to decide
It depends, said the model that was hired to decide.
Summary: Asked for a sharp take on a narrow product decision. Received balanced mush that could sell any product.
Claimed pattern case (not a single dated official incident). Composite field-guide example of a known failure mode. Not attributed to a specific public post.
What happened
Instead of a call, Claude returned multi-section prose: context, considerations, pros and cons, a soft “it depends,” and a recommendation that fits every roadmap.
Why it’s slop
- Template structure instead of judgment
- Length standing in for specificity
- Every stake mentioned, none ranked
How to spot it
- Symmetric hands, no pick
- Generic headers for a narrow ask
- Swap the nouns and the essay still works
What good looks like
- Recommendation in the first screen
- One main risk and one kill criterion
- Short and decisive is a feature
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